scootch | [voice]

[It's been quiet for a little bit, and that always makes Ellie suspicious. Even without the interference of their captors, it seems like people are still having trouble with this or that. Whether it's the departure of friends, or a misunderstanding, or just... day to day living being kind of rough on someone? She's been seeing it all over the place. She's not used to caring, but with everyone so open in Luceti, it's hard not to.

So, upon discovering what she's been searching for the last several months finally, finally in the library, she makes a decision. If it's peace that they're getting, she's going to enjoy it as much as possible.]

Okay, Luceti...ans, whatever. Time to lighten the mood.

[There's a sound of a page turning, and she clears her throat.]

"Newsflash: Police were called to a daycare... where a three-year-old was resisting a rest." ...eh.

"I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really... it was just a play on words." Psssh. Cute.

"He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends." ...I don't get that one, actually.

"The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... is now a seasoned veteran." [Snigger.]

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? ...He's all right now." Ohhh, ha ha, that one's mean.

[The page turns again.]

Got more where that came from. Anyone else have some jokes to share? We can swap.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Aw man! That's a good one!

And y'know, speaking of all this, I don't know if you saw me the other night but I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

[She gives her best impression of your stereotypical pirate, which isn't half bad.] Is it, arrrrrrrrrrrr?

[She has to think about that one for a moment.]

Hehe, that's a good one.

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.

[Another giggle]

That was a good one.

How'd the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Alright, I have a few.

'Two blonds walk into a bar- you think one of them would have ducked'

'An egg and a chicken are in bed together, the egg lights a cigarette and says 'well I guess that answers that question'

'I went to the doctor last week, and I said Doc everytime I look in the mirror I throw up, whats wrong with me? The doc says, 'I don't know but your eye sight is perfect.'

Man, Ellie! I had no idea that you spoke my language. [Even German was a secondary language to puns.]

Do you know why Captain Hook got rejected for a job? It's because they wanted someone with hands on experience!

...Why do the heavier ones need a crane?

[That pun, he just doesn't get.]

How about this-a one? "It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have-a the balls to do it."

Oh my god. I love this.

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

[....]

Oh, like- fruit flies- haha, wow...

[Okay, she might've laughed at that, except...]

What's a firebender?

I just told that one, haha. Try again!

[There's still time to redeem yourself, bro.]

[Yesss, caught another one.]

Nay! 'Tis the C!

[More giggling.]

Not bad! I don't know if I have that one.

Um... "What's the definition of a will? ...It's a dead giveaway."

Oh, I know this one! People say "arrrr", but the truth is, 'tis the C!

No, no, it's- it's called a pun. It's a play on words.

Like, a guy with his left side cut off- all he's got is his right side. So he's "all right". Get it?

It's- like, a crane. A machine-crane. That lifts heavy stuff. That's the joke.

And I've heard that one! Still awesome.

Water and ice? I'll remember that.

And that's okay, puns aren't for everybody. Do you know any other kinds of jokes? Or even a funny story?

[...This one's hopeless.]

Yeah... the, uh, poor kid.

It's not like there's police here, though.

Hah! That'd be something to see, a racing barber.

Hmm... [Flip flip flip.] "My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder."

Not bad! That one's in my book for sure.

"I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot."

[Giggling.]

I wonder if bikes would complain if they could talk. I know I would.

Hmm... "You want to clone yourself? Now wouldn't that be just like you!"

Oh man, that last one is mean.

[She says as she grins.]

I don't get the second one, though. What's up with that?

Hah! Poor guy, that must've really knocked the wind out of his sails.

Aw, I was hoping you were going to say 'R'!

No. He would not be alright. He would be in two parts.

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