[voice]

[scootch]

[It's been quiet for a little bit, and that always makes Ellie suspicious. Even without the interference of their captors, it seems like people are still having trouble with this or that. Whether it's the departure of friends, or a misunderstanding, or just... day to day living being kind of rough on someone? She's been seeing it all over the place. She's not used to caring, but with everyone so open in Luceti, it's hard not to.

So, upon discovering what she's been searching for the last several months finally, finally in the library, she makes a decision. If it's peace that they're getting, she's going to enjoy it as much as possible.]

Okay, Luceti...ans, whatever. Time to lighten the mood.

[There's a sound of a page turning, and she clears her throat.]

"Newsflash: Police were called to a daycare... where a three-year-old was resisting a rest." ...eh.

"I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really... it was just a play on words." Psssh. Cute.

"He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends." ...I don't get that one, actually.

"The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... is now a seasoned veteran." [Snigger.]

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? ...He's all right now." Ohhh, ha ha, that one's mean.

[The page turns again.]

Got more where that came from. Anyone else have some jokes to share? We can swap.

Comments

[Written]

[whiskytraitorfirefight]

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns and I'll steer!"

Also Mercedes bends is a play on the car manufacturer Mercedes-Benz.

[scootch]

[She can't help laughing at that. That is a good one, even if she hates tanks now. (Thanks, Pittsburgh.)]

Okay, that makes more sense now. Um...

"There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils."

[Voice]

[lordhotman]

These are terrible.

[Zuko isn't going to admit that he didn't get them all but he was sure they were all equally bad. If he didn't know better he'd think she was taking lessons from Sokka.]

[Voice]

[scootch]

Yeah, well, so is your sense of humour.

[Don't rain on her parade, Zuko, gosh!!]

[Voice]

[halfnhalf]

[Ellie, what have you done. What have you done.]

Did you hear about the guy who got hit by a can of soda? Good thing it was a soft drink.

[Voice]

[scootch]

[SOMETHING AMAZING DUH]

I've heard that one, actually!

[She laughs, though, because it's still funny.]

"The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work."

[comicallyheroic]

[Well finally! Something funny that isn't making him feel bad for someone else...]

Hey did you ever hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents!

[He can't help but chuckle at his own cleverness for that...awful, awful pun.]

[scootch]

[She giggles. Excellent, excellent, lots of people are on board with this. Luceti's better than she thought with puns.]

Not bad, not bad! How about... "There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal."

[Voice]

[dancing_flames]

Those are supposed to be jokes?

[He honestly isn't sure.]

[Voice]

[scootch]

They're puns! It's from my favourite book, I just found it at the library.

[Voice]

[spellfeather]

Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.

[Voice]

[scootch]

Ooh, I like it! I've got another pirate one, um... "What's a pirate's favourite letter?"

You gotta guess this one, everyone loves to.

[Voice]

[respect_points47]

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

[...She wouldn't have laughed at that one two years ago though.]

[Voice]

[scootch]

Hah! I love a classic.

[She used that one with Riley and Joel, heh.]

"I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me."

[Voice]

[goldenglasses]

[Vash breaks out in loud, rambunctious laughter at these jokes. A little less at the ones that mention things that he's never heard of, but at that point he's laughing so hard and loud it doesn't really matter.

Eventually he starts to get his laughter under control just enough to say his own.]

Do you know why bananas are so popular? It's because they have a peel!

[Voice]

[scootch]

Ohhh, that one's... [Kinda lame, but in a good way. She grins. This was the best idea.] "I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."

[Voice]

[elongatedsmile]

If a man where cut in half he would not be alright. He would be dead. [Nope. Doesn't get any of these.]

[Voice]

[scootch]

Well, yeah. It didn't actually happen, it's just a joke.

[Voice]

[sitalion]

[Stefano's clapping his flippers at the jokes.]

I got-a one! "Cannibals don't-a like to eat-a clowns, because they taste-a funny!"

Get it?

[Voice]

[scootch]

Pffft.

[Wait, is that a talking- ...what is that, actually. She squints at the page.]

...Um... okay-

[Focus, Ellie, focus. Maybe you'll figure it out.]

"Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane."

[voice]

[frost_jewel]

Please tell me you've already met Kurt. This is his favorite game.

[voice]

[scootch]

I have! He's the guy with the accent who can teleport, right?

[Voice]

[secretmiracle]

Some of those really did make me feel a lot better, so thank you! [Not that she was feeling down in the first place, this one is usually all smiles and sunshine anyway.] I have to wonder about the poor three year old though. Naps are very important, but maybe they just weren't tired?

[Still, that's no reason to get the police involved...]

[Voice]

[scootch]

Happy to serve. [Sometimes, anyway.] And... I don't think it's based on an actual story, so you can probably just ignore it. No three-year-olds were harmed in the making of this joke.

[voice]

[presumablyalone]

[Alright Ellie, you've hit Seto's easily hit funny bone. He starts laughing]

Those are really good, Ellie! I don't think I've heard any of those jokes before. I think I have a good one to share with you though...

Okay. I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy. [He may have read a joke book before in his time here]

[voice]

[scootch]

I think I've heard that one! It was a long time ago, though. Still awesome.

See if you've heard this: "Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed."

Voice

[splashpuppy]

[Oh, he could get into those. Hajime giggles before he manages to speak his contribution]

Where are most fish found?

[Another giggle]

Between the head and the tail!

Voice

[scootch]

Ehhhh... [Well, could be better, could be worse. He looks young so she'll forgive him.] That one's kinda cute!

Check this: "When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds."

[Voice]

[too_cool]

[A mixture of snorts, laughs, and a few groans could be heard over the journal as Bobby listened in. He was so up for this!]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Or, or! When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

[These were followed by him cracking up at his own jokes.]

[Voice]

[scootch]

All good! I approve. Never heard the last one before!

[She had no idea Luceti had such a good sense of humour.]

Let's see... "I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me."

[corrinesbell]

"I stayed up all night to find out what happened to the sun, and then it dawned on me." How's that?

[This is not her best field but she's known some funny people.]

[scootch]

Not bad! That one's in my book for sure.

"I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot."

[Audio]

[tearmeanewone]

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

[Audio]

[scootch]

[Giggling.]

I wonder if bikes would complain if they could talk. I know I would.

Hmm... "You want to clone yourself? Now wouldn't that be just like you!"

Video

[the_dead_pool2]

Alright, I have a few.

'Two blonds walk into a bar- you think one of them would have ducked'

'An egg and a chicken are in bed together, the egg lights a cigarette and says 'well I guess that answers that question'

'I went to the doctor last week, and I said Doc everytime I look in the mirror I throw up, whats wrong with me? The doc says, 'I don't know but your eye sight is perfect.'

Video

[scootch]

Oh man, that last one is mean.

[She says as she grins.]

I don't get the second one, though. What's up with that?

[Voice]

[wildbluevagner]

Man, Ellie! I had no idea that you spoke my language. [Even German was a secondary language to puns.]

Do you know why Captain Hook got rejected for a job? It's because they wanted someone with hands on experience!

[Voice]

[scootch]

Hah! Poor guy, that must've really knocked the wind out of his sails.

[risingwinds]

[Did somebody say puns? Well, Ven is so there. In fact, he's gonna try and think of one he read a while back. Juuust give him a second.]

Well, I'm sure glad I know sign language. It's pretty handy!

[Hmm, or how about...]

And I heard something about a new kinda broom. Word is, it's sweeping the nation!

[scootch]

I know the first, but not the second! Good one, I'm writing that down.

"My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house... all the signs were there."